25 Very Frank Blog Posts by Women Who Have Had Abortions

Abortion exists as one of the most controversial sociopolitical issues in the world today, with so many different opinions bombarding the airwaves and the internet it frequently seems overwhelming. As with many exceedingly divisive issues, individuals and organizations on either side of the debate tend to see things in black-and-white terms and talking points. Because of this sadly phenomenon, the real experiences of women who have experienced abortions go overlooked in favor of tired sound bites. These raw, honest blog posts reflect the real stories of those who opted for 1 or more of the different procedures for terminating a pregnancy. The real stories that often end up marginalized, pushed to the side because many believe that alarmist rhetoric and name-calling make for more effective measures of persuading the public. The real stories that add a much-needed humanism to what has transmogrified into a largely faceless debate. Considering an average of 1 in 3 women has an abortion, this certainly means a lot of voices getting drowned out. This article uses the preferred terms each movement uses to describe itself – “pro-choice” and “pro-life” – in order to avoid as much bias as something penned by a fallible, flawed human possibly can. It seeks out women who find relief and women who find regret, attempting to reflect diverse motivations, situations and reactions. It does not expect to change anyone’s mind in either direction, nor does it seek to support anything other than individual visitors coming to their own personal conclusions. All it does is compile the stories publicly available on the subject of abortion experiences in order to portray the different perspectives. Readers must decide for themselves where they stand on this divisive issue, though they ought to at minimum respect these brave, open women’s privacy and refrain from harassing them in any way, shape or form. They have frankly discussed their most intimate of actions with the hope of educating the world on their points of view. While such a public forum frequently invites unwelcome insults and threats no matter the subject matter, MSNDegree.com does not advocate anything less than courteous disagreement. The beautiful First Amendment protects free speech and allows individuals to disagree and debate – but both sides should do so rationally and politely. Do not let civil debate die unceremoniously in the wake of talking heads (and not the awesome kind behind Stop Making Sense) and propaganda posters. 1.) “My abortion experience” at LoveEmmalina.com Emma made the decision to terminate a pregnancy at 16, as she feared for her life and the life of the fetus. The father abused her physically, mentally and emotionally, and given their young age and exceedingly unhealthy connection she and her mother did not feel as if giving birth stood as the responsible choice. Years later, Emma still believes that she made the right decision for herself. 2.) “How it all went down” at Abortion Blog Anyone curious about abortions using prescribed buccal medication should read over this detailed account about the procedure. There are some physiological side effects, though every woman’s experience will probably have a few differences. The author recounts the story of her abortion with a blend of curiosity, frankness and a small dash of irreverence. She provides a very open, clear glimpse into what this particular method generally feels like. 3.) “Not Guilty” at Un-Expecting The entirety of the Un-Expecting blog details the mixed emotions and physical stresses that come before and after the decision to have an abortion. Here, the author discusses how she resigned her Christian faith with her choice to terminate a pregnancy for which she did not feel ready. Many tend to see the issue as purely black-and-white rather than shades of grey, but this posting peers into one of the more overlooked perspectives out there. 4.) “In With the New” at My Abortion & Related Incidents All of My Abortion & Related Incidents covers the before, during and after of one particular procedure. All the emotions and physical side effects get covered here, and the author does admit to struggling with both. However, she ultimately felt as if the decision she made – though she experiences pangs of sadness on occasion – stood as the one that best suited her needs and wants at the time. 5.) “A Positive Experience?” at Experience Project A mother of 2, as both a student and a woman living separately from her partner, did not feel as if the family could afford another child. Even if they had decided to take the adoption route, there is still the matter of prenatal care to consider. The anonymous blogger felt as if too many abortion stories emphasized the negative, and dispels misconception that all of them end in heartbreak and hand-wringing. 6.) “I regret MY abortion” at my testimony Abortion experiences differ from woman to woman. Some feel relief, others regret – and many end up in a milieu of both. Nicole chose to terminate a pregnancy due to an abusive relationship that caused her to fear for herself and her unborn child. Afterwards, though, she began to suffer from waves of guilt and doubt. Solace came in the form of Christian counseling, where she ultimately felt forgiven. 7.) “Patient Stories” at National Abortion Federation Every Wednesday, the NAF posts up stories from a wide variety of women who have undergone different abortion procedures. Written in their own words, they cover a broad variety of circumstances, motivations and emotions. Given the organization’s pro-choice beliefs, the accounts mainly attempt to de-stigmatize the decision to terminate a pregnancy. All of them feel as if the decisions they made proved the right one for their needs. 8.) “My Abortion and Coming of Age as a Feminist, 1970-1975” at Open Salon Reproductive rights has always been one of the main cornerstones of the feminist movement, and this very open account discusses how the abortion experience led one woman to embrace its tenets. This mother of 2 suffered from a crumbling marriage and unreliable birth control, finding herself pregnant at a time when termination was still largely illegal. She states that she remains “glad [she] did it, but [she is] still so unspeakably sorry that [she] had to.” 9.) “My Abortion Story” at Like a Warm Cup of Coffee Sarah Mae found herself pregnant at the age of 16, and 13 years later opens up about the emotional trials she underwent before and after the procedure. Exhibiting signs of post-traumatic stress later on in life, she turned towards counseling at a local clinic. The choice to embrace the Christian faith and ask for spiritual forgiveness ended up the most healing route for her personally. 10.) “Guest Post: An abortion story” at The Hand Mirror Written in the third person, this anonymous guest post presents the story of a 15-year-old who became pregnant as a result of date rape. Because both the sex and the resulting fertilization were entirely nonconsensual, the young woman’s mother and doctor felt that carrying the fetus to term was the healthiest choice. Being a minor, she could not legally act upon her pro-life leanings when the time came to sign the consent forms. The experience inspired her to take on a career teaching very young children – her way of emotionally making peace with the events. 11.) “Irene Vilar, Abortion Addict Speaks” at The Huffington Post Author Irene Vilar penned a highly controversial book bearing her soul and discussing the high she felt getting pregnant 15 times and subsequently terminating each one. Hers is certainly an extreme case that does not reflect on most women who have experienced abortions. Due to psychological torments by an unstable mother, dysfunctional marriage to a man 34 years her senior and general neuroses, Vilar protested the concept of forced sterilization by becoming addicted to the power that abortion granted her. Today, she remains steadfastly pro-choice – although urging responsible decision making rather than repeating her abuse of the available resources. 12.) “Dear Morphined Out, Baby-Free Me:” at What to Expect When You’re Aborting This blogger uses pitch-black humor (and what some may consider harsh language) to ferry her through the stressful task of deciding to undergo the abortion procedure. In this post, she offers a pep talk for her future self and sends reassurance across time as a means of squelching any misgivings. The entire blog outlines the preparations she takes in order to care for herself afterwards as well as advice for anyone considering making that particular choice. 13.) “Her name is Hannah” at Moral Outcry Pro-life activist Cathy Harris dedicated herself to the Bound4Life organization because of her firsthand experience with aborting an unwanted pregnancy. For years the choice never bothered her, but mounting guilt and regrets eventually led her to her current position. 14.) “The Moral of My Abortion Story” at AspenBaker’s Blog Exhale founder Aspen Baker said that the decision to abort an unwanted pregnancy left her feeling incredibly alone. Not wanting others to suffer the same fate, she pieced together a “Pro-Voice” community that seeks to find common ground between women, men, the pro-choice and the pro-life rather than pushes divisive rhetoric. Like this article, she hopes to provide a nonjudgmental forum for individuals to discuss both positive and negative experiences without the fear of insult and shame. 15.) “Why Abortion Was My Only ‘Choice’: My Abortion (Part 1)” at MidwestFeminist.com Part 2 of this story has yet to materialize, but Part 1 still summarizes the decision-making process for one particular woman. She thought of the procedure as the only decision she could possibly make. Not only were she and her husband financially incapable of caring for a child, the fact that she had been drinking a fair amount during the first 7 weeks when she did not even realize she was pregnant posed a severe health risk. In addition, pregnancy prevented her from taking the strong medications necessary to alleviate her severe migraines. Although she and her husband do entertain the thought of becoming parents someday, at the time of conception they completely lacked the resources to bring one to term. 16.) “my story” at imnotsorry Over time, this woman’s abortion became a source of pride for her – pride in her ability to make independent, informed decisions and pride in not marrying a man who ultimately proved the wrong fit simply because he had impregnated her. She believes that the experience helped her grow into the happy life with her husband and unborn (as of this writing) child she enjoys today. 17.) I Had An Abortion – The Biggest Mistake of My Life” at Letters From The Womb This blogger’s choice to terminate her unwanted pregnancy ultimately resulted in a negative experience. In spite of her pro-life opinions, she panicked and allowed her boyfriend to talk her into having an abortion. Although they are still together, this young woman cannot stand her life with him and blames the procedure for her having to seek psychological therapy – including antidepressants. She carries on with the yoke of guilt on her shoulders. 18.) “Medical abortion: my story” at In media res In a series of 9 blog posts starting in February of 2008, one woman chronicled the story of her abortion and the physical trials she underwent when opting for the medical procedure rather than the surgical. She decided to take that particular option for “economic, cultural, interpersonal, and familial” reasons, and remains thankful that America allows her to make a choice for herself. 19.) “I Had An Abortion” at Finding Summer Unapologetic and confrontational, blogger Summer – a married mother of 3 – does not feel the need to justify her decision to abort a pregnancy to anyone. She does not offer many details regarding her motivation, but felt as if the procedure was no more painful nor major than a routine doctor’s appointment. 20.) “What’s the connection between abortion and careers?” at Penelope Trunk’s Brazen Careerist Penelope Trunk had 2 abortions because she thought that having children would derail her career ambitions. Later on in life, she went on to give birth twice without causing any real professional damage. She looks at the issue without any moral or religious or ethical lenses, but rather reflects upon what abortion means for the modern career woman. Ultimately, she comes to the conclusion that terminating a pregnancy and carrying a child to term are both extremely difficult choices, each with their own unique set of circumstances and consequences. 21.) “My Abortion Experience” at HubPages In this HubPages blog post, the author recounts in great detail what it felt like to undergo an abortion for financial and personal reasons. The experience traumatized her, and she eventually caved into guilt and turned to religion to assuage it. She blames Planned Parenthood and the doctors, believing that coercion played a role in the decision-making process. 22.) “Choices” at Angie the Anti-Theist Blogger Angie Jackson received national attention when she liveblogged her abortion on Twitter. News of her pregnancy triggered “suicidal depression & panic attacks,” and she made the choice to terminate it because she did not possess the resources to care for 2 children. 1, for her, was enough. Jackson found the decision a relief rather than a regret. 23.) “my experience of medical abortion” at My abortion – feelings and facts Although her abortion brought her and her boyfriend closer together, the author of this blog posts does not wish to ever have to go through the procedure again. The decision to terminate the pregnancy came about because she felt as if, at 24, her life with a job she despised and general quarterlife disarray was not conducive to parenthood. Because she found the procedure physically trying, she hopes that her next pregnancy will be a welcome one. 24.) “Abortion: Holding Life and Death” at Blog o’ Gnosis Anne Hill identifies as both pro-choice and pro-life, having experienced “3 live births, 2 abortions, 1 miscarriage. 2 children adopted as teenagers” in addition to bearing witness to a plethora of other stories. She looks at abortion from a spiritual angle, never once faulting anyone for undergoing the procedure, and believes that life begins at conception. However, she does not denounce a terminated pregnancy as abortion and fully supports the idea of choice. Read up on her very unique perspective synthesizing the beliefs of two very separate movements. 25.) “My Abortion Story” at momaroo This pro-choice blogger opted to terminate an unwanted pregnancy at 8 weeks because she did not want childcare to get in the way of her college education. She actually looks back at the experience and states outright, “I don’t know, and will never know, if I made the right decision.” Regardless, though, she has come to terms with the fact that she did have an abortion and cannot take it back. One of the most polarizing issues today, abortion debates rarely ever take real experiences into consideration. Hypotheticals and talking points end up at the center of most debates, with the actual stories capable of changing minds and nurturing deep thought shunted to the sidelines. With so many women having undergone the positives and the negatives of abortion, anyone hoping to formulate a cogent opinion on the matter should read through what all they have to say on the matter.